I was tearing when I read this blog written by the girlfriend whose boyfriend (just)assed away during Brunei training. [http://memyselfmine.blogspot.com/]

Being the worrywart empowered with an overly-active imagination, I can almost imagine myself in her shoes. Not exactly though. I can't say I can understand how she feels. Noone can understand untill they experience a lost of their loved ones. The idea of losing mine scares me. I'm frightened so much till the point where I think I may lose my grip on reality if I continue to harp on it.

My boy is sleeping after his first day at work. My work was mentally exhausting too. Got pretty irritable whilst guiding a new colleague. His phone call in the evening nevertheless, perked me up immediately. I cannot fathom God's making. How did God create such a being, a being with so much passion, so much life, so much kindness, so much innocence, so much love, in him. I wake up in his arms in the wee hours. I feel the light breeze of his breathe on my neck and snuggle closer to him.

Yet how long can I indulge in his love? I've been so selfish, I realise. What do I care about causing him disappointment? My motives are more important than his hopes to catch The Red Cliff. He's a man. He should give in to me. Or does he? Is ordering a Filet-o-fish meal by hitting a few buttons on my mobile comparable to him making an American Breakfast to surprise me before I go to work.

I argued with him when he expressed his hopes for our marriage, for fear that we would have a tough life after marrying without any financial backing. But heck to all that, he's my love. He is the one I want to hug to sleep to. He is the one I want to wake up with. He is the one I want to cry, fight, argue and laugh with.

Baby, I cant promise that I can change 360degrees. But I shall try to stop thinking about me, myself and I. And more about you.

Sweet dreams Baby. I love you.