3 down (and screwed), 2 more to go. Can't wait for 13th May, 1730hrs, when I can finally stuff my notes in a corner for a good few months.

I don't understand. I really don't. Is it so hard to let go of the past? Even when what happenned last time hurt you? You've had your revenge and 'returned' the hurt, haven't you? You asked me before if i'd do the same thing if i was you. I can now safely assure you that I won't. Because I am moving on, instead of following your footsteps, despite what you've done to me, I choose not to feel the hatred.

You argue that I'm not hurt as much as you were. That's not fair. You aint me. How do you know? Who are you to say that? Are you me?

But hey, is not what you've been doing for the past 6 months of our relationship considered two-timing? Both physically and emotionally. Weren't you indeed lying to me all along? Revenge or not, any reasons you've given are no excuse for what you did, and nor do they minimise the hurt inflicited on me. You're just plainly trying to justify what you've been doing.

For many nights I couldn't sleep well. Past scenes and your words will come to my mind and the cycle of self-doubt will begin again. But I know I can no longer get my answers from you. So I chose to leave. Letting go and moving on is a long tedious journey, but you'd realise that its actually for your own (and my own) good.

I wish you could have been honest with me, but you haven't been, right from the beginning. Lies over lies. I can only say, you know what you've been doing. So please understand why I'm leaving.

And for your own sake, just let go of your negativity. You probably feel tortured now, but you'll be truly happy one day. If you're remorseful about what you've done, just let go and move on. At least, you can look back one day and be proud that you didn't do anything against your better judgement and conscience.

These are my last words for you.