She reminded me of how much I love him.

=(

Something alarmingly foreign happenned to my body mechanism freaked me out so terribly on Tuesday morning. Felt really helpless and scared, which was not only allayed after talking to my mom, but worsened. Thought she could give me some words of advice but i got naggings instead on how I haven't been taking care of my health properly - sleeping late, not drinking enough water etc. I was so worried I took half-day leave from work, making sure that I finished and accounted for my entire workload, and rushed to see my family doctor.

Doctor diagnosed I had an infection and I'm now on a week's course of antibiotics. I hate taking medicine cause I've always had difficulty swallowing pills since young. But I have to complete this course, don't want the infection to come back again, though doctor says it would definitely, at some point of time later in my life. Gosh. I really don't want to go through that painful ordeal again. I've probably not been giving my body enough pampering and rest, so from now on, i'm gonna cut down my intake on fried food, drink lots and lots of fluid, exercise and sleep earlier. Basicially, just loving myself more.

Was feeling better yesterday and went to Janet's for my bi-weekly Shiseido hair treatment. Only $40 for my hair length, i think its super worth it, considering the instant effect it does for my frizzy hair. Have tried various treatments at other high-end salons which charges ridiculous high prices and their effect can only stay for a day or two?

Its such a bad night.
Negative thoughts and past scenes just can't stop flashing through my pounding head.
I wish I was smarter. Braver. Less naive. Less trusting. More selfless. Loved myself more.

That's all. Not gonna say "Good night". It hasn't been a good one. Bed.